Tomorrow is departure time and my energy is back to start this trip. I am smelling the take-off and this is a good feeling. I feel my senses waking up again. There are lots of thoughts in my mind, one comes back again and again. The mother of a friend of mine has greeted me wishing that I shall find what I am searching for. This wish is following me since, and I am asking myself again and again: "Am I searching for something? Is this why I am going away?" I am getting back a clear No, there seems nothing specific that I am looking for. The true only motivation is my need of time, time to find back myself and time to rediscover what I have inside myself.
The month I have spent on Elba has shown me undoubtedly that this is the right way and that this way of moving forward is full of enriching discoveries. Someone might not understand why so much time, and I admit that this is probably hard to understand. Probably only people who have experienced the same can understand. It´s healing time, and noone except yourself can tell how much is needed. I remember a conversation with someone that had the same experience as me that told me: "Only you can tell how much time you need and only you know how you feel inside." My time is much slower now, it simply needs to be in order to be healing. For too long I have spent my days running around like crazy with millions things to do that never ended.
When I was thinking about why I go on this trip, an expression flew to my mind: Pursuit of Happiness. I was asking myself where I know this expression from and that I remember it to be very fundamental and famous. Great education, my dear, to forget one of the foundations of American culture on which you were spending many years of university studies! Now I googled it and Wikipedia explains it all: "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is one of the most famous phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence and considered by some as part of one of the most well crafted, influential sentences in the history of the English language. These three aspects are listed among the "unalienable rights" or sovereign rights of man.(...)".
In these days I realize how fortunate I am to have the liberty and freedom to pursue my happiness. Not everyone has for political or religious or other reasons. I simply have forgotten it for too long! And now I am so curious to discover all the other things that truly make me happy. Because this is about true happiness, nothing else. Whatever this means, I hope to be able to tell you upon my return next year. Sweet dreams, my friends.
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